'Ack Right'

Check 'em at the door.

While on the 2 train on my way back to Brooklyn, across from me sat a man. He had on a khaki colored page-boy cap with a shabby coat and was listening to an MP3 player. This guy was totally into the song, making stupid hand gestures, mouthing the words, and looking at me while doing it. I ignored him, looked at the Jill Scott HBO billboard, wandering my eyes about at random things, trying to avoid this fool. When you’re on the train, with no book or music in hand, it attracts more eyeballs. He continued to carry-on; uttering lyrics here and there in weird outbursts. ‘He must be missing some brain cells,’ I thought, trying not to judge and REALLY trying not to look him in the face. Then he started making strange up and down hand movements, which made it look like he was playing with imaginery breasts. Beyond annoyed, and highly disgusted, I sat there rolling my eyes and curving my brows like the devil, wishing he would get his ass-off at Atlantic Avenue.

Once I got off at Franklin Ave only to find another 'one' also acting random, I came to a realization:

Men like attention more than women do.

But, a different kind of attention. The kind that makes a woman want to bash they’re fucking face in. 

Puellas like the kind of attention that's more emotionally sound. Men like the un-evolved and stupid kind of attention: the very simple-minded glance or snicker. They just wanna' be looked at and recognized for the dummies that they are.

I don’t know what it is, but EVERYDAY, there’s always some man whom just can’t control himself. If he’s not a disgusting construction worker howling out a whistle, he’s a derelict on the 3 train with A.D.D. Whether they’re sick in the head or sane and of sound mind, none of them can seem to ack right. They're like a bunch of big-ass five year olds. They make weird noises, they always want to play games, they need to do things for women to look at them- and if you don’t, they will continue to draw attention to themselves. Looking all stupid. And like five-year old children, men need to catch a beat-down once in a while- so they can ‘ack right.’ Problem is, they don’t (because they are adults supposedly) so they continue to run around and terrorize womankind.

I swear, post disgusting train encounter, I actually thought about dressing like a man for the rest of the week. That, or a brown paper-bag right over my head with the eyes cut out.

Now of course, not ‘every man’ is outright perverted, disrespectful or intrusive. Yet, even the most sincere and purest hearted of men need some ‘ack right’ every once in a while (slap upside their fucking head). But it’s okay. Nobody is ‘perfect;’ not even so called Mr. Right..whoever that is.

At times, I feel that my disgust with men far surpasses my love for men. Sometimes I wish dinosaurs would resurrect and come eat every man they see..gays included. And if I’m not on the train or in the streets experiencing a ‘wow,’ ‘how you doin’ or ‘can I talk to you for a minute?’ It’s one of them (men) acting crazy in public, or another one looking at me like he wants to rape me.

Is it in their DNA? Does every male chromosone contain a little bit of pervert? Or perpetual five-year old? Why do they ack like that?

An even better question: why do we love, need, support and fawn over these very men?

I don't know either but mankind can kick rocks..