'The Gold Standard'

The definition of FINE.

OK. Now, I'm known for having a little more 'dimension' in my writing-but talk about BEEF. That man has the perfect body; not too cut-up, flawless skin, and a smile that could seduce the virgin Mary.

Any man-loving-woman who has any type of estrogen flowing through her body would have to agree with me on this one: Reggie Bush has to be one of the finest pieces of dark-chocolate that has ever graced God's green Earth. If every man looked that damn good, I'd probably be pregnant for the rest of my life.

Any woman (lesbians included) who claims they are not turned on at the sight of a man like REGGIE BUSH running down a football field in tight spandex, is strait lying.

So today while G-chatting with a male friend, physiques came up. I was going on and on about how I like my men- stocky, chocolatey and broad-chested-and UN-SKINNY!!!!

Sidebar:I know all Puellas have their personal preferences-but I don't see how or why women think that skeleton, anorexic looking-ass guys are sexy. I'm sorry, no offense long-lean guys (if you're reading), but I just don't get it! Skinny guys look like they're always on a diet. And who really wants to hug a broomstick? No bean-pole, Snoop Dogg looking types for me. That's just nasty.

My buddy and I also discussed how society & media places so much pressure on Puellas to look a certain way that we become obsessed over things we can't even control; ie: flat-chests (me), Nassatall (no-ass-at-all), bald-headedness or an unpretty face. Everyone can't look like Eva the diva, or Angelina Jolie-but that's OKAYY! Women get so much flack and this leads to self-esteem issues. We concluded that the sad part is that although not all men expect this, if you just watch TV, or pic up a magazine, or look at an ad for perfume, there it is: a subliminal slap-in-the-face saying 'look like this chick.' Even I find myself saying, 'damn, I need to do this...that..' in order to maintain my swag. It can be motivating yet depressing. Nevertheless, it is a part of being Puella-a fly one in particular. We have to put on fake stupid eyelashes, walk on stilts, wear thongs and do it gracefully: but, nobody is out here pressuring these guys to look good. They just watch football and talk shit if their team loses.

That's really unfair, RIGHT?

So...here is my resolution.

ALL MEN NEED TO BE REGGIE BUSH.

Obviously, with someone that fine, he should be the male-standard of sexiness. And since every chick wants to subconsciously be Beyonce, we need to tell the male population to look like Reggie Bush. Tell the next cocky, womanizing, judgmental bastard guy you meet-'umm, you need to look like Reggie Bush. THAT's a REAL man. I mean, you're OK, but I'd have Reggie's baby right now if he asked me.' And Puellas, keep telling them how fine you think Reggie is. Then, if he wants to get smart, tell his ass to do some push-ups because he looks like a little bitch. Then tell him to step his weight lifting game up, get some protein shakes, get an edge-up, and an Altoid. Shoot that ego down girl! Shoot it! The look on the gassed-guy's face after you deflate his corny-ass: Priceless.

Kim Kardashian better not slip-up: because I will GLADLY take him off of her hands and have him 'put a ring' on mine.

'Cosmetic Hospitality'

Morning Puellas!

Today, God has opened up the clouds of heaven, and poured out a cosmetic blessing on his beauty-philes. If you missed the memo this morning then, let me be the first to share the second best-news of January 2009:

HIGH-END RETAIL CHAINS ALL OVER THE USA ARE GIVING AWAY FREE MAKE-UP, STARTING TODAY!

Apparently, manufacturers were jacking up the prices, and now, they're finally being forced to pay up. Great for us beauty-product junkies, sucks for them!

'$175 million worth of free cosmetics products will be distributed to members of the class (see below to determine whether you are a member of the class) for a maximum of seven days, while supplies last, on a first come, first served basis, beginning on January 20, 2009.'

First, a fly-ass President, and now THIS??!!??

And this is NOT the cheap stuff. Brands include Givenchy parfums, Guerlain, L'Oreal (Lancome) Estee Lauder (Clinique), Clarins, Chanel, etc. I know you all don't wear make-up-but it may be a good day to set aside your au-natural preferences and try a foundation, a gloss or something!

You can redeem ONE product from any retailer listed below:

Bergdorf Goodman
Bergner’s
Bloomingdale’s
Boston Store
Carson Pirie Scott
Dillard’s
Gottschalks
Herberger’s
Macy’s
Neiman Marcus
Nordstrom
Parisian
Saks Fifth Avenue
Younkers

For further details, visit the official website:

http://www.cosmeticssettlement.com/

How's that for a recession special?

Salve!

BACKGROUNDER.

I know you're probably wondering what these foreign words are. As you may or may not know, Latin is a dead language. People used to speak it in Rome, way back in the day. Although it's not spoken today, the modern romance languages all stem from Latin. After about four years of studying Latin in High School, the only word I was able to remember was 'Puella.' It means GIRL. But this is not a blog about language. 

So, what inspired this?

As a 'Puella' I've always had interests in the typical 'puella' things: clothes, boys, haircare, toiletries, advice, music, trends, etc. I know if I like to learn about the 'girly' things, than other girls do too. I know there are tons of 'women's magazines' and websites to find tips and a bunch of other stuff. I mean, I read those too. 

But this is different. 

This is a 'real' girl sharing her biased and unpaid views on the latest girl-centric things.  The purpose is to share discoveries, thoughts, information and experiences for the modern Puella. It's all random, pinpointed, subjective, and helpful insight. 

 

I LOVE discovering stuff. As a woman on the go, I'm constantly finding new, cool things that I know many other Puellas would benefit from. It may be a fabulous sample-sale, an excellent movie, a poppin' lip-color, or even a fly-outfit I saw another Puella rocking on the train. From style-tips, to event happenings, expect a hodge-podge of things I've personally seen, heard about, or experienced. 

There's no set agenda here. Just a little something for the Puellas.

Salve Sis 

(May you be well)